Sabatouer.

So last night, this really mean 250 pound bitch(excuse the language!) stood in the way of me and my weight loss goal.

It was myself.

I look at the situation I put myself into in both the "new me" mentality and the "old me" mentality.

"New Me" says: There is no one but yourself to blame for last nights hop off the bandwagon. You knew you were going to do it before you did it. You didnt have to do it. You chose to do it. You shouldnt have done it. If you dont change your patterns, nothing will change.

"Old Me" counters with: If you deprive yourself of things that make you happy, youre destined to fail. Could you have done last night in moderation? Yes. Should you cut it out completely? No. Dont give it up, just do less.

And now....for what I did last night!

Once upon a time, there was a girl who realized that she was pretty amazing at beer pong. Her fraternity president best friend taught her the game, which she picked up quite quickly. Soon, they were hitting parties and hustling people for 10 bucks a game. A few friends of hers starting a weekly BP competition at a local bar, which she played in almost every week. At least once a month, she was walking home with the 200 dollar prize. She and her partner made it to the world series of beer pong.

After completing the series and coming home, she felt she had quenched her thirst of this particular activity. And didnt play(except socially at parties every now and then) for almost 2 years.

Last night, I went back to the bar that hosts the beer pong weekly tourneys and played. I had entirely too much alcohol(im not used to drinking so much so fast anymore) and in turn woke up totally hungover and ignored my alarm, telling me to get my shoes on and get my butt in high gear.

Im so disappointed. Not only at the over consumption of endless empty calories(I couldnt count them if I wanted to) but at the fact that I am only days into my "project me" campaign and I already took a header from the wagon.

I return today, more focused and headstrong then yesterday, with the determination and knowledge that I CAN do this. Set backs are temporary. A flat tire on the wagon. I can fix a flat by myself and get back on. As long as its not an engine problem, we're okay. :)

I saw a guy last night that I havent seen in about 2 years. We hugged and talked about our daughters(his is 9 mine is 6) He is a single dad, Im a single mom. The mother of his child isnt around at all though, so he is doing it completely alone, which I really commended him on. Anyone can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad! We hugged before we went our separate ways, and as I pulled back, he said "You know, youre looking really amazing.(i was in a tank top and jeans...so it wasnt what I was wearing) Whatever it is that your doing, keep it up."

Nothing is so sweet as positive reinforcements.

So thanks Dan. You are the receiver of my first Mantastic award,lol

This Saturday, Im going out to dinner with my ex. This will be there first time eating out. Say a prayer for my willpower!

Until tomorrow,

Xo,
CC

Ps. Welcome welcome my new followers! Dree, Tricia, Alvina and Namontgomery!! Hope you enjoy my ramblings as much as I enjoy writing them! Thanks for following guys!

******Just finished dinner. Pizza. ugh. slice of cheese and 4(yes, 4) garlic twists. Had Tequitos for lunch. Calories are looking like...

580 for the taquitos
250 for the slice of pizza(ONE FRIGGIN SLICE!)
230 for the garlic twists
1060.

Wow. Not as bad as I thought. Oh, Im gonna add an extra 100 because I had ranch and cheese on the pizza.

Going for my 5m walk. Adios!