Failure. Still A Success..

Where to begin.

Last night I threw a temper tantrum. Yeah, you read that right. Even my 5 year old gave me the stank eye. I realized, at 4 pm yesterday, that I had consumed all my points for the day. And I was hungry. For carbs. Like, a lot of them. I stomped into my room, threw myself down on the bed and screamed into my pillow for a good minute and a half. Kylie came into my room and patted me on the back and said "Whats wrong mama?" I looked at the innocent face of my 5 year old and answered "Mommy cant eat anymore today and that makes her frustrated." To which she responded "Mommy, your not fat. Eat what you want."

Both endearing and scary. Endearing because she is learning tact(aw!) We've been talking about how it isnt okay to make fun of people for things they cant/may not be able to control, like height, weight, skin color, religion,etc. She is no longer pointing out morbidly obese people when we are out and saying "Why is he/she so big?" which we had a problem with her doing for a while. Scary because I DONT want her to repeat my mistakes as a child.

My mom, for all intensive purposes, was a single mother raising 3 kids. My sister and I are only 13 months apart and my brother is 4 years younger. She worked incredibly hard for us and provided us with the best should could. Because she was working full time and raising 3 kids basically on her own, from my recollection, we had fast food or pizza probably once a week. Every other night, we ate healthy. She didnt allow us to have stuff like fruity pebbles or squeeze-its. But still, that much fast food over time, builds up.

My sister was slim her entire childhood(bastard! Lol) My brother was thin too until around 3rd grade...which is about the same time I became noticably chubby. My brother and I are both still fat (sorry Johnny. Love you.) My sister wears a size 10(shes 5'8) I wear a size 20/22 (Im 5'9)

I started to realize I was doing the same thing with my child. Not because I was working a full time job, like my mom, but because at the end of the day, I was tired and just didnt have the energy to cook for my daughter. I thought it was okay because we were ordering the apple dippers and not the fries. Milk and not soda. But its still a habit I dont want her getting into. I dont ever want my child to have to battle weight issues. And Im sure it doesnt help that both her parents are overweight. I just want to set a good example for her.

I moved my scale to the trunk! Although, I wont lie, I miss it terribly! Lol. This breakup is going to be a hard one to get over.

Went for a walk today even though my baby toe is still screaming in pain. I broke the charger for my iPod shuffle so I was really worried it was gonna crap out on me halfway through the walk. But it totally soldiered on with me. And I adore it for that. Which is why I purchased it a brand new charger today. Yay.

My walk today is what brings me to my title of the blog. I walked at 10 am today. Not very many people on the trail. Mostly elderly couples chugging along sprinkled in a few avid runners. I walk this trail end to end and then back, which totals 4 miles. I passed this elderly couple at the restrooms on my first pass, waved and said good morning and continued on my way. Hit the end of the trail, and doubled back. When I neared the end of the trail, I saw them just touching the "turn around pole" and heading back towards me. Which means that I did 3 miles in the time it took them to do 1.

The man smiled. "Youre quick!"

I laughed. "Im getting there. All the runners and speed walkers are still flying by me."

The man shook his head. "Dont consider your success a failure. Any way you slice it, you walked 4 miles today. You did good kid."

I seriously almost cried. I wanted to adopt this guy. I said thank you, told them I hoped to see them in the future and jogged back to my car. Im going to try and echo those words everytime I get discouraged when I work out, or when the weight isnt falling off fast enough. Dont consider any success to be failure.

So, I lost a follower :( Guess some people dont find me as interesting as Id like to think.

I made an award today. And since I have no idea how to post it on someone elses or if that is even possible, its getting posted here. I know she'll see it anyway.

Miss Candy! Here is your very own award! I made it myself. Thank you for being so supportive. You rock!



Until tomorrow!

Xo,
CC