Movie Theater Etiquette

So, last night I went and saw the midnight showing of The Other Guys. I personally, hate going to movies anywhere near the time the come out. I hate watching movies in a theater of other people. Even more so when the theater is packed. EVEN MORE SO when I have to sit next to people I dont know.

Here are a list of rules people, in general, should abide by to make EVERYONES experience enjoyable.

1. Silence is still golden. Except in the technology age, its not you talking to the person next to you that makes me want to rip your head off. Its the fact that you answer your cell phone. Youre actually answering your cell phone. I realize(as a mom) that sometimes, you cant always get out of answering your cell phone. But for the love of god, you cant walk into the hallway to do it? And lets be honest, no one that has the audacity to answer the phone whispers. You are brash. Bold. Boardline yelling. Shut the fuck up please.

2. Just because your not talking on your phone, doesnt mean that your texting isnt also irritating. Your bright ass light that keeps going off every three seconds? Yeah, Im not into that.

3. Dont kick the back of my chair. For any reason. Child, teenager, adult. I dont care. Do not kick the back of my chair. If you do not immediately appologize, I will turn around and say something. Vicious.

4. If there is an empty seat next to me...while I appreciate that you are not putting your feet on my chair...but dont put it on the one next to me either. Its disrespectful and I dont want to smell your feet. On that note, as well, dont take your shoes off in the theater. Gross.

5. If you are going to chew sunflower seeds, bring a bag/cup/hand to spit the shells into. Last night, I picked two wet shells off my arm. I nearly punched the guy.

6. I find it absolutely disgusting when selfish parents bring their children into movies that are clearly inappropriate for them. Not only is it irritating to hear your baby/child cry, but there is a reason that these movies are rated R. Dont get my started on children in movie theaters at like, 10 pm...

7. Im all for PDA at the movie theaters. I find it quite hot. But, to pull this off properly, you need to find a movie that has been out for weeks at an odd showing. No one will be there. Have at it. The fact that you elbowed me when you went to straddle your man friend is what had me get you thrown out of the theater.

8. Why the hell would you eat a tuna sandwich at the theater?

I guess Ill get off my soapbox...

Xo,
M

Birth Control. An obviously raunchy post.

I am not the girl that EVER remembers to do something every day. Not good at taking antibiotics or birth control pills. My daughter is the result of missing ONE DAY(I swear!) worth of Yaz. Obviously, if you've been reading my blog, you know that while little boo is my only child, she is not the only time I have been pregnant. And the last time I had to go through the pain of an abortion(more mental then physical) I decided to get aggressive with my bc.

I have been on the pill since I was 17. And about 6 months ago now, I decided to try the ring. I went online to read reviews on it. I read horror stories about how people spiraled into dark depressions. How they lashed out at loved ones. And anal leakage. Ew.

Fortunately, I havent killed myself, anyone around me or had to start wearing diapers. However, I have had some weird side effects. When using the ring, you are instructed to change it once every 3 weeks. Put in a new one and continue the cycle for 3 months. At the end of the three months, you leave it out for a week, having your period. Then, another 3 month cycle.

Holy shit. Heavy-ist period ever. Seriously, I cant believe I stayed alive. Im talking a box of ultra plus tampons in a little over 2 days. I slept. A lot.

Orgasms hurt slightly with the ring in. Granted, they say you can take it out for sex as long as you get it back in in a certain time frame.But that seems counter productive to me. I know it releases hormones into your body, so its not like if I take it out for a few hours, they are going to suddenly disappear. But I had a baby after missing ONE PILL. I'll keep mine in thanks. Its like a small pinch that only lasts for a second. But still. Its weird.

Youre either dry as a desert or wet as a rain forrest. And it always seems to be when you dont need it. Like, 2 nights ago, the first condom broke because I was so dry. We actually had to use lube. Ive never had to use lube in my life. But earlier that day, grocery shopping, it was like a fucking monsoon. I may call my doctor about this side effect actually.

The worst side effect, but far, is the fact that sometimes, it comes out during sex. I dont embarrass easily, but the first time it happened, I was mortified. It looks like a small clear bracelet. Like the ones madonna wore in the 80s. He picked it up from the bed and held it up-he clearly had no idea what it was. "You....dropped this?" Luckily, I was with someone I had been with for a long time, so we were able to laugh it off when I explained it was birth control. And it doesnt always happen. I could deal with it always happening-I probably would take it out during sex. Or it never happening. That would be great. But the constant wondering IF it will happen, is irritating.

So...TMI? :)

WELCOME!!!

My new readers! Joelle and Verity. Im insane, i will fully admit that. But I hope you enjoy reading about it :)

Xo,
Mary

Hello darkness my old friend...

I would say my wardrobe is 80% black. Other colors? Red, White, Blue(in the way of jeans) and hot pink. Oh, and sports apparel. This is ridiculous. I look REALLY good in lime green, but I havent sported it since, like, 6th grade. How did this happen?

This thought, last night, prompted me to order some clothing. Okay, a lot of clothing. 294 dollars worth of clothing. Hmmm...I promised myself that I wasnt going to go nuts until I absolutely couldnt wear the clothing I have now. I live in jeans. But currently, I have exactly TWO pairs that fit. I had to get rid of about 12 pairs because they were all huge. So much so that no belt could save them. I look at my shirts and I hate most of them. I need longer clothing.

So, I got all excited because I can fit into victoria secret clothing. I have been a faithful VS bra buyer since I was 18. 294 dollars later, I should be recieving a shipment of 11 shirts, 1 dress, 1 skirt and 2 sweaters in about 10 days. I need to get rid of Id say about half of my closet. Everything is so big. Cute, and hard to part with, but too big. I hold on to things and say "I can get that tailored. I can get it taken it" But i dont. And I know I wont. Maybe I'll get myself an ebay account and sell some of this stuff. A lot of it has been tried on, but never worn out. And I have a fur coat (From a theme party I threw a couple years ago) taking up space. And shoes! I have a ridiculous amount of shoes. I have learned about myself that I absolutely cant walk in anything over 3 1/2 inch heels. So I have about 16 pairs of shoes that are taking up space and arent being worn.

While I love the convenience and selection of buying things online...once I get them, if they dont fit or I dont like them, I wont return it. And everything looks better on the model.

I probably should have purchased some more pants. I need more pants. Off to find more pants...


I missed you guys :)

Xo,
M