Shocked. *Whoop Whoop*!!!!

Down another 5 pounds. Wowsers! After gorging all last weekend(wedding weekend) as well as having a heart to heart via blogging with Diz(thanks girl) I put a serious effort into this thing.

And it shows

And I am grinning like an idiot.

I am now only 2 pounds from 20 pounds!

Man. There are a lot of feelings coursing through my veins right now and its hard to pin point one to write about.

Happiness first and foremost. I am ever closer to my goal. It feels amazing to actually be putting in the effort, seeing results and sticking with it. To know that this change is happening because of me. Because its something I am working for. I am amazing at half assing everything. Im not going to half ass this. By the end of 2010, people wont even recognize me. I wont even recognize me.

Im feeling, dare I say, sexy? Confident in myself. I spent some time with my ex(which Im sure my mom and sister will be incredibly upset about...sorry guys) and he grabbed me by the waist and said "Holy shit. Your tiny"

I couldnt help but laugh. "Not there yet, but Im trying"

"Seriously. How much have you lost? Whats your goal weight?"

Now, this is a guy who still found me attractive at 280, 260 and 240. I have always been incredibly embarassed about my weight. I think the only men who have ever known what I weight are my dad, brother and ex husband.

But I still didnt know if I was ready to tell him...

"My goal weight in somewhere in the range of 155-165"

"You cant be too far off from that now. What are you, 185?"

Oh my god, I wish. Damn, he's sweet.

Deep breath. "Im in the 230's"

Cue an incredibly shocked look. "Bullshit"

So I lead him into the bathroom and hop onto the scale. The read out was 237.6

"I would have never ever guessed"

"Yeah, I carry it well I suppose. Being 5'9 doesnt hurt"

Did I really just tell the truth about my weight to a man and actually prove it by getting on the scale? What is wrong with me?!

"Youre skinny now, I cant imagine what you'll look like when you lose another 60 pounds. There wont be anything left. Try not to lose your butt and boobs. Those are my favorites."

Lol. Thanks.

So far, actually, I havent. And I was scared that my boobs were gonna be the first to go. But they are hanging in there(thanks ladies!)

Wow. This post random. Maybe I'll post again when my thoughts arent so sporadic.


I wishin you all good karma!

Xo,
Mary