So, I had a middle school reunion today, which in itself was awesome. A bunch of us brought blankets, snack, beers and smiles and we hung out at a park not too far from our Alma Mater for about 5 hours.
I brought a 12 pack of corona. I had talked to my middle schooll bff, Elle, and told her I'd spring for the booze and we could split it. When she arrived, she had also purchased a 6 pack. More people came, and I offered drinks to everyone. Some partook, some brought their own. At the end of the day, I had consumed 5 beers. And a shot of whiskey (thanks Tomylee...)
Its Saturday night. I had made plans with my best friend Christina to hang out tonight and I just cant do it. I feel awful. Tonight is really the only night I have to hang out late, seeing as I dont have work tomorrow. I am laying in bed, regretting the decision to day drink.
And the more I think about it(and watch the biggest loser) the more I wonder why I drink at all. I mean, even when I dont drink, my personality is huge. Im bubbly, charismatic and hilarious (if I do say so myself) anyway. Why do I need to lower my inhibitions? Do I even have inhibitions?!
I was talking to Diz, (my P.I.C.) and was telling her that I really would like to try and not drink the entire month of June. Of course she gave me a cyber high five. I also told my mom. I thought she was going to cry. She said thats probably the best news Ive given her in quite some time. I really would like to not drink. Its weird because almost all my weekend events involve drinking. Im at home because I cant stand the thought of being around alcohol right now and everyone I know is out drinking, whether at someones house or at a bar. I dont mind staying home, im excited to catch up on sleep. But will my social life suffer because I choose to be sober?
Obviously, Ill keep you guys posted on my trials and tribulations. I just want to be okay with the person I am. If not drinking is who I am, great. If I stop and realize that its just a art of who I am, so be it. But nothing ventured, nothing gained right?
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Girl, I quit drinking 2003/2004ish and although it took awhile to adjust, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. It took my body LITERALLY about 6 months to detox, that's how bad it was and I didn't even know it was so bad! But I think about that all the time- that's how bad it was...I think I was literally saturated to a cellular level. It was hard; one of the scariest, hardest decisions I've ever made, but my life has changed so much and I've progressed so much since I finally left all of that lifestyle behind. For me, it was a whole lifestyle; my life revolved around going out and partying. Whether for a week, a month, or a year, I support you and think it's a great idea to give your body a break!! xoxoxo-
ReplyDeleteI agree with Diz, if anything you can just see what its like with out the booze. Its kinda along the same line as food. So many social functions revolve around food and or drinking. When I started weight watchers I would think about what to eat so I can drink that night and maybe if I had any points I could eat too. Sounds sad I know, But I support your efforts girl! You are amazing and strong! Wishing you the best of luck!
ReplyDeleteIf anyone can do it it's you! And your right you do have a bubbly personality, you don't need help with that!
ReplyDeleteJust take it take by day and see how you feel. It will be difficult at first but surround yourself with people that can support you through it, in the end you will be glad that you did.
I'm here for you girl!