*Deep Breath* Okay. I think I got it.

I may not have found myself, but I found my voice and my confidence.

I ended things with Corey this weekend. For good. Usually, when I have said this in the past, it was coupled with a lot of crying and moping and pining for him. I never knew closure could feel so amazing. Dare I say, Im excited he wont be in my life anymore. I have wasted 8 long years on this guy. And sadly, he is still the terribly immature 16 year old boy I met all those years ago. We exhanged some very harsh words. Mine were of truth. He has a drug habit, which makes me nervous. I told him he has a problem and he needs to get help.

He in turn, raged, full force. He called me a bad mother, a slut and told me that his ex girlfriend(my ex-friend) was right about me, I am just a psycho.

I laughed. I cant believe it. I actually laughed. I laughed because for the first time ever, I wasnt upset with him. Mad nor sad. I felt bad for him. Bad that he couldnt step back and see that I was saying these things out of worry. Bad that he felt like he needed to say those things to me. And bad that all my hoping that deep down he really was an amazing guy, was wrong.

I basically told him there was a reason that all of his friends had become my friends and no one wanted to see him anymore. He was an asshole. He never thinks anything he does is wrong. The people he hangs out with now are druggies. He has exactly two friends left from high school and I know for a fact that one of them is fed up with him.

I wished him nothing but the best and let him know that this would be the last time I spoke to him. I erased his number out of my phone and deleted him from my facebook. Strangely enough, its almost a "no love lost" situation. If I saw him on the street, I feel like I would be very indifferent toward him. I have nothing left to say and no left over feelings.

I feel amazing.

I am 2 weeks away from being exactly 1/2 a year into this weight loss journey, and I am 4 pounds away from being halfway at my goal weight. Its an amazing feeling. To know that I am strong enough to dedicate myself to something and have it pay off is huge.

My brother has lost 6 pounds and my dad is down 8.

Overall, my life is pretty awesome right now.

Except.

Kylie has been sick with pneumonia, which has made her going to school impossible. So Ive been toting her to work. That god that my mom helped me out a lot last week. Thankfully, her meds have made her just well enough to go to school today and tomorrow-her last two days. She has a birthday party to go to which I believe her Auntie Stina will be taking her to(my Bff. Im super lucky!)



I have missed you all. Hope the days have been treating you well!
Xo,
Mary