After reading Dizs post here I realize she is absolutely correct. I am not trying. I was so diligent about counting points and walking when I first started this. Now, I estimate points all day long, never really adding them all up. I have walked ONCE in three weeks. How can I expect change? And how long am I going to do this to myself? Why cant I love myself enough to want to do this? To really be motivated enough to get serious, finally, after 26 years of wishing I could be where I wanted. I have the tools, I just dont have the willpower. I am slowly accepting failure and it kills me because I am sitting idly by. How strange that the only thing stopping me is myself and I cant get it together. Im the only one making the poor choices in my life. Every year I say this year will be different and it never is. And that is my fault. I have been so incredibly stressed out lately, which is putting a strain on my health. See? There I go with the excuses again. My health will ALWAYS be poor if I dont lose this fucking weight. Instead of going to bed, Im going out for a walk. I wont let me stand in the way of me any longer. I will look back at 2010 as the year I finally made the decision that my life is worth living.
I sincerely adore all of you for listening and being my source of strength in times of weakness. Thank you for not letting me go this incredibly hard journey alone.
Xo,
Mary
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I had no idea my post would have this affect (effect?) on you. But it's a good thing I came over to read your post because as I was meandering over to the laptop, of course I stopped to grab a handful of m&m's and some more cheeze its. I too, have only worked out once this week. Nothing last week. WHAT IS WRONG WITH US!!!???
ReplyDeleteSo I'm putting the M&M's down. Losing weight is a series of small choices made over time...it's not dramatic changes all at once. I am the queen of dramatic all at once.
We can do this. Damn it, we can!
D
Done and done girl. I'm on it starting NOW. Seriously. I'm excited we're both motivated right now.
ReplyDeleteYou are both motivating more than you think!
ReplyDeleteIts funny how we end up our own worst enemy....every day i have to remind myaelf that i am worth the effort and do i realy want to sabatage myself? hugs girl u can do this
ReplyDeleteoh isn't Diz just the best!?! I love the way hearing about other people taking control of their life makes me feel. Inspired, motivated, I feel a fuel starting to burn. YAY for us all! We're in this together!!
ReplyDeleteI struggle with self sabotage too. Good luck overcoming yours.
ReplyDeleteMary - I have an Award for you on my blog.
ReplyDelete